REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME discussion post

Hello everyone. This is probably my first “real” discussion post. It has absolutely nothing to do with reading and everything to do with my actual life and my kids. I hope you read this and maybe you will even have some sound advice because to be honest I am really trying and yet I don’t know what else to do. Now I probably having you wondering so I’ll just jump to it.

On most days I walk my kids in to class. I have a 7 yr old (1st grader, Emma) and a 5 about to turn 6 yr old (kindergarten, Bailey). They ask me to walk them to class because I have tried the whole pull up to the schools front door and let them get themselves to class and occasionally they do but they enjoy me walking them to class and I feel special.  Now Emma comes home at least twice a week saying how some other kid in class has picked on her. Sometimes she will give me details and other days she won’t tell me, and the things she gets picked on range from stupid stuff to stuff I have raised awareness about and gone to the teacher. I have been telling and continue to tell both my girls that they shouldn’t pay attention to the mean things kids say. I try to teach them that what others think shouldn’t matter. That the only peoples opinions of them that should matter is mine and their dads. The old saying that was popular as I was growing up was sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. I have NEVER said that to my kids because no matter what words have the power to hurt. We all know it. I tell them they shouldn’t let those words affect them and that kids are just sometimes mean. I really try to help my girls, mainly Emma, she’s the one that gets picked on the most between my two girls. 

Emma has a big heart and she wants to be everyone’s friend. Her feelings get hurt when someone won’t be her friend or won’t include her and although it sucks cause I don’t want her feelings to be hurt I explain that not everyone is going to get along and not everyone like each other. If we all liked each other there would be no evil. She has come to understand that more and more but she is still tender in other areas.

Being tender in other areas to me is good, I don’t want her to become this hard shelled girl who keeps everyone at a distance because she is getting picked on, but at the same time I don’t want her to continue getting her feelings hurt. I don’t want her to have low self-esteem but kids nowadays are SO SO SO mean. How is it not suppose to affect her self-esteem?

I tell her over and over again it doesn’t matter what anyone else says she is important, loved, beautiful, talented, funny, etc. She says she knows but I can see it in her eyes sometimes she isn’t so sure and it kills me. I want to protect her and shield her but I know I can’t protect and shield her from everything. It just sucks. Why do kids have to be so incredibly mean?

What brought this post about if you are wondering would be what happened today. I walked Bailey to class first cause we come to her classroom first and then walked Emma to class. We no sooner walk in the door before this little boy immediately starts picking on her AND IN FRONT OF ME LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING!!!! I spoke up and said I didn’t think he needed to be saying stuff like that and he needed to stop. He persisted which made me madder. Emma was looking at me with these big eyes that were sad starting to form tears and like she was pleading with her eyes for me to do something. I was at a lose and my reaction was I told her to come on she wasn’t going to school today. I took her jacket and backpack back off her hook and we headed back down the hall. The teachers all stand in the hall to monitor kids going to class so I had Emma stop and tell the teacher what happened. The teacher as always handled the situation. She took the boy to the side and talked to him, I don’t know all the specifics because I wasn’t listening in. She made the boy apologize to Emma and to me and told him in front of me at this point that if he did it again he would go to the principal’s office. Emma still didn’t want to stay there today and I didn’t feel like making her so I still brought her home.

Yes, the teacher has always handled the situations that I have brought to her.This isn’t a matter of the teacher at all she has done everything right in all of this this year. I thank her for everything she has done. I understand she won’t catch all of it but she does listen and pay attention and she catches what she can. When she misses something or I have had to talk to her about situations she has always done her best.

I feel helpless. All I feel llike I can do is exactly what I have been doing. Bringing the more important things to the teachers attention and continually telling my girls that they are special and that kids are just mean and to try not to listen to them.

I have often thought about homeschooling but I have a few dilemmas. One I don’t feel smart enough. I don’t feel like I would have the patience to do that. I fear it would teach them to run away instead of facing their problems because if I did homeschool them then they wouldn’t have kids picking on them what about when they are adults. Adults aren’t much better. I can’t shelter them their whole lives no matter how bad I want to. So, what else do I do? Am I doing all I can? Is what I am doing enough? Anyone else in my boat?

4 thoughts on “REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME discussion post

  1. So sorry to hear that your children are being bullied. It’s an age-old problem, and sadly, it is part of growing up. My opinion is this: bullies are looking for a response, and the more response they get the happier they are and the more they will bully. You’re responding and so are your girls. Stop responding. The girls need to ignore the bullies. The biggest weapon in their arsenal is a big smile. Keep smiling and stay silent. The bullies will eventually move on to someone else who gives them what they want, a response. As for you, any contact with the teacher and principal should be done covertly so the bully doesn’t know…again, your responding and that’s what they’re looking for. It’s painful, I know, but stop responding, go on with your life as if the bullies don’t exist.

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  2. I understand that everyone has there opinions but I honestly and wholeheartdly believe staying silent IS NOT THE ANSWER. What does staying silent accomplish? It only tells my children their mom won’t stand up for them and I say FUCK THAT!! If nothing else my taking the harsher bullies to the teacher shows my kids it isnt ok and that their Mom will stand up for them even if No one else will. I WILL NOT FURTHER HURT MY CHILDREN BY BEING SILENT! They need to learn to.stick up for themselves and to.learn that someone has to stand up for them until they can do it themselves. FUCK STAYING SILENT THAT HELPS NOONE!

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  3. From your response, Tasha, I take it this is more than the generic bullying. Your girls are lucky to have you as their protector, and you seem to be more than capable! You’re a tiger! I know from our other discussions that your a kind-hearted, responsible person…trust your instincts and do what’s right.

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